In one discussion I had with James via Facebook, I had asked him if he would be interested in sharing his life story. His response was this: "even if i wrote my life story, there was no one iknew that i would share it with.". You are the ones to read the life story shared by a young man half a world away who previously had no one to share it with!!!
God has been challenging me in so many ways, I cannot even begin to tell you. But this morning I read this -
By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him.
1 John 3:16-19
My prayer is that each of us will continue to look outside of ourselves and search our hearts to find ways to help those who need and to love like Jesus loves.
Be blessed by this young man's life story . . .
I was born on the 10th/ June/ 1990 to Mr. Ochidi Emmy, my dad and Mrs. Ongom Jane my mum. While my mum was 2 months old with my pregnancy, my dad got a mental sickness, this led to the separation of mum and dad. Mum went to their home with my pregnancy and afterwards; she successfully gave birth to me in a traditional kind of birth arrangement.
In 1993,dad got well and married another woman (my step mum). He picked me from mum and brought me to my step mum to take care of me. I do not exactly remember how life was in the hands of step mum because I was too young to understand situations.
In 1997 I started school in primary 1 (P1) in a village school called Pawor Primary School. We never paid any fees at primary school because we were studying under the government arrangement of universal Primary Education, UPE (UPE is an arrangement by the government of Uganda to give free access education to children of very poor citizens in the villages who cannot afford to go to good expensive schools).
In 1999, dad got a job in Kampala, the capital city of Uganda as a supermarket attendant, his salary was too small to take care of me and step mum, he lived alone in the city for two years. While I was with step mum in the village, I experienced many sorts of mistreatments including food denial (I occasionally went hungry for two days). My paternal grandmother, who lived with us in the same extended family sympathized with the mistreatment and got me away from step mum. Life with grand mum was surely so easy to me.
In 2001, dad visited us in the village and took my step mum along, leaving me in the hands of grand mum to continue with my primary education. In 2002, mum also got a job in the city as a sales officer of Leadership Magazine , a local magazine publisher. She occasionally sent me some help in the village. She was in a better position to help me than dad because she never had so many responsibilities as compared to my dad and she earned more than my dad from her job. In 2003, I completed primary education (P7) and emerged the best student in the school and the whole county (a county is an administrative division comprising of about 200 primary schools).
Being impressed with my performance and the fact that there was no free universal secondary education then, dad and mum took me to Maranatha High School in Kampala, a school affiliated to Ggaba community church, in 2004. Paying my fees (equivalent to about 70 US$) then was a shared responsibility between mum and dad.
In June 2004, mum also got a mental illness (which she has not recovered from up to now).
Paying my fees became a full responsibility of my dad. Dad picked me from school and I started living with step mum. Dad would spend all his time at work and only return home to sleep, so he never knew the mistreatment I was going through and besides I never wanted to tell him because I feared that he might misinterpret my words and become violent to step mum.
While for holidays, I would do all the house work which included among others fetching about 400 liters of water from about 300M away from home, mopping the house, cooking, going to the market to buy food, washing my siblings’ clothes and any other duties which might arise. These were my daily responsibilities in the absence of dad from home (dad always left home at 6am for work and returned home at 9pm).
He had a one day off work to rest weekly and on this day; my step mum gave it to me as my resting day too. This was a trick to hide dad from knowing the type of mistreatment I was going through while he was away.
My step mum’s mistreatment never annoyed me because I knew she was not my biological mother. I learned to accept that in Africa, when you live in the hands of someone who is not a biological mother, she will never treat you like her own child.
Life became so strange in September 2004 when step mum convinced dad to stop paying my fees. He had sent me to school without school fees in August after agreeing with the then Headmaster of the school, Mr. Katerega Emmanuel. After reporting to school, dad stopped paying my fees, visiting me, sending any scholastic material and any help which would arise at school. He could not pick the Headmaster’s call. At school, I lived in the students’ dormitory. Feeding was always provided to us.
The headmaster called me to explain why my dad defaulted from paying my fees, something I could not explain to the headmaster. I was sent home to go and collect fees before I could continue attending lessons.
Reaching home, dad told me it was the highest level of education I would attain because he had no money for my fees. This was a naked lie because he was doing well financially by then. Something was simply making him ignore his responsibility over me. He became un usually aggressive to me, beating me over simple mistakes, withdrawing all forms of supports he ever gave me.
One Sunday when I went to Ggaba Community Church to pray, I sat next to the headmaster of my school by coincidence. After the service, I explained to him what I was going through, he sympathized with me and recalling that I was always the best in my class in every examination, he allowed me to study and finish the year without paying fees.He later on arranged and forwarded my name to African Renewal Ministries ARM offices for any available sponsorship opportunity. (ARM is an organization affiliated to Ggaba Community Church which sponsors needy children).
In 2005, the headmaster told me that ARM had not yet got for me a sponsor and that I had to wait from home. He told me he would get back to me on phone if a sponsor was got.
In early February 2005, one evening step mum was putting some herbs in Dad’s food. This is the time I started to think and believe that what really spoilt the good relationship between me and dad was witchcraft. When dad got back home I told him what I saw and he never handled the issue maturely. She denied having done that and asked dad to chase me away from her home because I was destabilizing their marriage. I was immediately taken back to the village in the same week. Life in the village meant there was no going back to school.
In March 2005, my maternal uncle, Mr. Raphael Ongom who was heading a rural secondary school called Paidha Secondary School in the village asked me to join his school and continue with education. He told me I should not mind of the quality of the education I would get from the school. I was convinced that studying in that poor standard school was better than staying home. I immediately started school in that school uncle managed.
While with uncle, I made several calls to dad in attempts to reconcile with him and get some little support from him as I studied. I made these phone calls secretly without uncle’s knowledge because uncle had earlier on cautioned me to stay away from dad, cut any communications and forget about him completely. He warned me that he would kick me out of his home if he discovered I was communicating to dad. Nevertheless, I would call dad and try to reconcile. I tried involving other paternal relatives in the reconciliation process but all was in vain.
In 2006 as part of my usual trial of reconciling with dad, I called him and he told me “a man cannot take back his own vomit”. He immediately called uncle to warn him to stop pushing me to apologize to him, Uncle was surprised to hear that I was attempting to reconcile with dad without his knowledge, he sent me away from home. I pleaded to him and involved his friends in the plea, he allowed me back. I stayed away from communicating to dad because I realized it would end my future.
In 2007 I completed my ordinary level of secondary education by sitting for Uganda Certificate of Education (UCE) and in February 2008, UCE results were out and I emerged as the best student in the whole district ( a district is an administrative division which is almost five times bigger than a county)
Uncle never had money to take me for my Advanced level of secondary education and the school he managed never had advanced level. Due to lack of fees, I stayed home in the whole of 2008.
In 2009, I met a friend called Cwinyaai Pascal at Paidha Pentecostal church when I went to pray. This guy was studying in Makerere High School Migadde. I explained to him what I was going through including my performance in UCE. I expressed concern of going back to school to continue with my education. He got touched and told me that the school he was studying in was a Christian school which would get touched by my story and given the fact that I am intelligent in class. He promised to share my problem with the headmaster of Makerere when he returned to school.
I gave Pascal my neighbor’s telephone number so that he would call me and inform me of what the headmaster of Makerere had told him.
In April 2009, I received a call from the headmaster of Makerere expressing his concern to know me. I directed him to my village. Two days later, he reached our home and asked uncle to allow me start free education in his school. While at Makerere high school, uncle gave small assistance.
My performance always impressed all my teachers and I became very popular in the school. My fellow student respected me for my excellence in every class works, tests and examinations.
In December 2010, I completed my advanced level education by sitting for Uganda Advanced Certificate of Education (UACE). In March 2011, UACE results were out and I emerged the best student at Makerere high school and one of the best science students in the whole country. My name together with other students who excelled in the country was published in the national newspaper.
In August 2011, I was admitted to Gulu University for a bachelor degree in human medicine and surgery. To reward me for my excellence performance in the UACE examination, the government of Uganda offered me a scholarship for this course. The scholarship pays all my tuition fees throughout the whole duration of the five year course. I am finishing this course in August 2016.
However there are many expenses the scholarship does not meet like feeding, accommodation, transport for lectures and scholastic materials like laptop, text book, hand outs from lecturers etc.
Gulu University is about 200KM away from my village and I have to rent a house near the University for my Accommodation. Unfortunately my uncle cannot afford these extra expenses; I always beg this money from sympathizers. I have not got a sponsor and a secure source of finance for stable funding of my education requirements.
My plan in life is to become a heart Surgeon but I am getting a lot of challenges trying to achieve this goal not because I do not have the potential, but because my ambitions are limited by lack of resources.
My mum has other three children; a boy who is my follower and has dropped out of school because of lack of school fees. He is not as intelligent in class as I am, so he cannot secure such amazing opportunities that came across my way, and other two girls who are still in their primary level of education in a UPE setting.
Meanwhile my dad has with my step mum; a girl and three other boys who are in school and their needs are being met well by dad.
My mum is still mentally sick and my uncle who is a low income earner is overwhelmed with the responsibilities of taking care of his children and my other maternal siblings who cannot be taken care of by my sick mum. Uncle Raphael also takes care of so many children who have been orphaned by his deceased brothers. This makes it hard to provide for my needs.
When I look back where I came from, I see that God has really helped me and has a strong purpose for my existence on this earth. For more information about me, you can use the following references below. [NOTE from Dave: Please contact me if you want this information.]
Praise is to the Almighty God who opens new doors of opportunity when one closes.
Thanks, this is the summary of my life story.
I am
OBURA JAMES OCHIDI
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